


The Reaper's Curse

by Pumpkinnubbin



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bloodplay, F/M, Hela does what she wants, I'm Bad At Tagging, Knifeplay, Loki is King of Asgard, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Thor is probably still with Jane, What am I doing, i just really wanted to write this okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 11:53:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13681146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pumpkinnubbin/pseuds/Pumpkinnubbin
Summary: Natasha doesn't want to be Hela's champion and she wants her protection even less. But what can you do against a goddess who doesn't take no for an answer? When things get problematic the only one she can turn to for help is Loki. After all, spell removal isn't part of the Avengers' arsenal of skills.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to write this forever but since I am apparently incapable of putting anything down on paper it took all my willpower to suck it up and type it straight away. I have a bunch of other things in the workings but this is just supposed to be a little thing (over the big thing I have planned) so this gets priority. AU for and past the events of Ragnarok because I needed things to work out a little differently for this. Asgard is still kinda ragnarok'd though.  
> I shamelessly took the title from Eizen's condition in Tales of Berseria but it has no other similarities with that beyond the name. Enjoy!

Natasha had no idea where she was or how she’d gotten there. The last thing she knew was that she’d been at her safe house in New Jersey, recuperating from a job gone moderately well. Now… Now she couldn’t even tell what her surroundings were like. It was dark and cold and earthy. Certainly not like any place she’d seen before. She looked around, blinking away the dizziness that had started the moment she’d gotten up off the ground. She was still in her clothes so that hadn’t changed but there was nothing around her that indicated where she was. The whole place felt eerie, unnatural. She felt a sudden chill up her spine and turned her head.

“Natasha.”

The voice was oddly pleasant, though she couldn’t say she’d ever heard it before. A woman stepped into view; tall, pale and with long black hair. Something about her reminded Natasha of Loki which instantly had her warier than she already had been.

“Who are you?”

The woman smiled and Natasha fought a squirm. That didn’t happen often.

“I am Hela. This is my realm.”

“Then this place is the Realm of the Dead? Why am I here? I’m pretty sure I haven’t died.”

Hela stepped closer and stopped once she towered above the red head. The smile that stretched across her lips this time was significantly warmer and less alien.

“You are correct. No mortal has brought me quite as many souls as you have, and fewer yet live. I have wanted to meet you for a long time and finally I decided I could no longer wait.”

Natasha wasn’t naïve enough to believe that was all there was to it. It was true she’d killed a lot of people in her life, mostly deserving of it, but lately that couldn’t be stated the same way. Ever since joining S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, things were different. She hadn’t taken nearly as many lives in recent years. Something she imagined would irk the Goddess of Death.

“You’ve met me. What now?”

Hela lifted her hand to cup Natasha’s cheek, her touch cold. Silence stretched between them for several moments but Natasha didn’t push for words. They’d come. Hela wanted something. Eventually, the goddess broke the silence with a small sigh.

“I have an offer to make.”

“What kind of offer?”

“I miss the times you’d bring me souls. Others do, of course, but I’ve always liked your handiwork the most. Of all the mortals to supply me, you’ve been my favorite for a long time. My champion. As such, I would like to grant you a gift… in exchange for more souls.”

“It’s not much of a gift then,” Natasha said, raising an eyebrow.

She wasn’t exactly interested in anything Death had to offer but it was good to know what was on the table. She stood her ground even as Hela chuckled and stroke her cheek in an almost patronizing manner.

“It is more than any other mortal will ever have. I would call that a gift.”

“You still haven’t told me what I’m supposed to get if I keep killing for you.”

“Protection, my dear champion. I can protect you from dying. Not of natural causes, of course, but you would be unable to die by the hands of others. Would it not be beneficial for you and your work to be able to do your job without worrying about your life?”

She had to admit that last part would be convenient but she wasn’t about to possibly literally sell her soul for safety. Natasha was good at her job and she was good at keeping herself alive. She didn’t need Hela’s protection for that.

“I’m not interested. I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself and I don’t kill for anyone. I do it if I have to, not because someone wants me to. That includes you.”

“A shame,” Hela laments, “I would have rather preferred not to do this.”

Before Natasha could do anything, Hela leaned closer and put her free hand on Natasha’s chest, whispering a few words in a language she’d never heard before and then finishing it with a kiss to her forehead. The spot on her chest burned and she pushed the goddess back. Hela watched her closely. The spell hurt as it was supposed to but Natasha barely even made a sound. It was rather impressive. There was a hole in her shirt now from the spell and she covered the spot with her hand, breathing deeply. She cursed quietly and then looked up at Hela again.

“What did you do to me?”

Hela cocked her head to the side with a little smile.

“What I said I would. Hm. I thought you’d struggle more,” she started, then continued with a bit of bite, “You really are a remarkable mortal. No wonder you are one of his companions.”

That made Natasha frown. It was a vague statement in itself but Hela was a goddess with a realm of her own. That left only one person; Thor.

“What, another one who doesn’t like Thor?”

The laugh that echoed throughout the open space made her shiver. It was cold and wrongly amused.

“Oh, my champion, you have no idea. It’s thanks to my dear brothers that I am back here.”

“Brothers.”

“Did he not tell you? I am Odin’s firstborn, banished twice now to this place. It’s not all bad. I may not have Asgard, but I am my own Queen, with an army larger than any other. The dead are lovely companions, more loyal than any being alive.”

Those were definitely news to her but there wasn’t any time to analyze and dwell on right now. She wanted to leave this place and find a way to rid herself of Hela’s spell. She doubted it was all as benevolent as she’d made it out to sound. Protection for souls. But what would happen if Natasha refused to give her souls? There was a catch here and she’d find out one way or another. She’d ask Thor about all of this and Loki if the spell became a problem.

“Well, my dear. I suppose it is time to part. I’m looking forward to the souls you’ll bring me.”

The last thing Natasha saw was Hela’s smile before the world shifted and she found herself back in her safe house. She felt positively sick but pushed the feeling down to inspect what the goddess had done. Her shirt was ruined anyway so she threw it out and then stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Her chest had an insignia on it now, burned into the skin there. She thought it might be a rune but couldn’t be sure, nor confirm or deny right now. Thor would know. For the moment though, she’d try to deal with this on her own. Maybe nothing bad would come of it so soon.

With a sigh she put on a new shirt and made her way back to the Avenger’s mansion.

 

Seven weeks passed before the negative effects of the spell became a problem. She’d had a few mission since meeting Hela and had been forced to kill a handful of people during them but that hadn’t happened in two weeks. At first, it had been nothing but an itch that she couldn’t explain or describe. It had been lurking beneath her skin, to do something. Within a week, it had developed into what she could only describe as bloodlust. Natasha needed to kill. She’d locked herself away in her rooms for the past two days, once it had started to become unbearable, and had told Thor to contact Loki.

After what had happened with the brothers, Loki had been crowned the rightful King of Asgard by the rest of its citizens while Thor had accepted the job of ambassador to Earth. Asgard had relocated but Thor remained their only contact to them and Loki, who – in a sign of good faith – had agreed to lend his and Asgard’s aid to Midgard whenever they may require it. None of the Avengers had believed it at first (Clint still didn’t) and they’d found it unlikely to ever take him up on the offer but she needed help. Help only Loki could provide. She’d not given Thor any details, merely telling him this was something Loki was needed for. She wasn’t even sure he’d help. Maybe he’d just come by to mock her and see her squirm. She wouldn’t blame him for it. It was hard to believe a man like that could change but from what Thor had told them, it was just as difficult to believe it was all just a trick. There had been no guarantee that he’d be crowned King instead of Thor and yet still he’d stuck by his brother for everything that had transpired. It had to count for something, at least in her book.

There was a knock on her door and she went to open it. The others knew not to come too close, though she had needed to make them promise and swear by anything they considered holy. This could only be Loki. The moment she laid eyes on him in her doorway, she thought of twenty-one different ways to kill him. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head momentarily before letting him in.

“You came.”

“You asked,” Loki replied with a smug smirk, “Thor did not tell me much. Why am I here?”

Still she had scenarios running through her head, imagining his death by her hand. She couldn’t even be sure any of her methods would kill him but it would work on any other man and right now that was enough. She balled her hands into fists toconcentrate on the conversation; on anything but this. This was the spell’s doing and she hated every moment of it. She wasn’t in control.

“Hela.”

“We banished her. How do you even know that name?”

“I know you did and I know because I met her. She put a spell on me. I need you to get rid of it.”

Loki looked genuinely surprised and concerned for a moment and he stepped closer. Natasha took a step back reflexively. She wasn’t afraid for herself but that she might attack him after all. He paused and gave her a look that told her to stand still.

“Do you know what kind of spell?” he asked, feeling for magical energy around her.

“She’d call it a blessing, I think. The deal was protection for souls. That’s what she told me. I couldn’t be killed by anyone as long as I bring her souls. I haven’t in two weeks. Now it’s just… I keep the others away because I think I might try to kill them.”

He looked at her for a little while, humming quietly to himself. Over the tank top she was wearing, he could see and feel the rune peeking out.

“A blessing? Or a curse? This sounds rather like both…”

“That’s a problem?”

“It is I’m afraid. I’ve not heard of any spell capable to be both at the same time. That means I need to research a way to rid you of it,” he explained.

He took in her expression and the way the energy around her seemed to twitch and turn with her feelings. Also the spell's doing, no doubt. He could not remember feeling any sort of energy around her before.

“What is it you are feeling?”

“Where do I start?” she huffed, staring back at him unflinchingly, “Right now? I’ve been thinking of thirty different ways to kill you since you got here. I think about five of them might actually work on you.”

“Do you want to kill me?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know, Loki. This isn’t me.”

“A lust for blood, taking over your brain, perhaps? I’ve seen it many times before in the warriors of Asgard. Lady Sif, especially. Once a battle begins, she will not stop until her enemy is slain.”

“She sounds delightful. But, yes, I think.”

“Tell me something; do you feel a need to kill or would drawing a certain amount of blood satisfy you?”

“I think the amount of blood that would take is too much for a human to live without.”

“But I am not human.”

The statement hangs in the air and she stops. Her thoughts are running wild and her eyes scan his body for places she could pierce to make him bleed. She was well aware that Asgardian skin was much too dense to be pierced by any conventional blades. Any blades made here on Earth from any of its metals would not be enough to cut through his skin. As if reading her thoughts, Loki smiled and lifted his hand, palm up. A moment later, a finely crafted and inscribed dagger appeared in his hand. Her eyes wide, she tried to understand why he would do this. Even a benevolent Loki shouldn’t offer this. Nobody should willingly offer this. Natasha was a killer with a killer instinct she currently held no control over.

“Why?”

“Because, my dear Natasha,” he started, a gleam in his eye she didn’t quite recognize with the haze in her brain, “I can buy you some time if this goes the way I think it will. Draw enough blood and you’ll be satisfied for a while.”

She didn’t know what to say to that and stared back at the dagger, taking in the beauty of its craftsmanship. Slowly, she lifted a hand to touch it, running her finger along the blade to the hilt and feeling every inscription beneath her skin.

“Perhaps I will be as well,” he finished quietly, watching her intently.


	2. Chapter 2

She looked up at him sharply and let silence take root. She took the dagger after a good minute of them just staring at each other and didn’t give him any time before she plunged it into his side, perfectly seating it between his ribs. His pupils dilated and he let out a small breath. Natasha kept watching him even as she dragged the blade back out. Now that she’d done that though, it was suddenly becoming a whole lot more difficult to keep the blood lust at bay.

She dragged the blade across his tunic until he touched the tip of it with his finger. His eyes were dark and she could see his heart rate increase.

“Stay in control,” he whispered, his voice deeper than she’d ever heard it.

She smiled and hummed briefly. Seeing his clothes and the blade bloody had her own blood boiling. She moved the dagger again and dug it into his skin as she moved it down his chest.

“You can fix these, right?”

He grinned and nodded. His clothes were the least of his worries right now. Natasha needed to focus on not losing herself to the sensation and he needed to focus on not getting too distracted. She stabbed him again, slowly pushing the blade into his skin. This time she watched the blood taint his tunic. She still wasn’t sure why he let her do this. It was obvious he _enjoyed_ this but even so, it wouldn’t be something _she_ would be comfortable letting herself know if their roles were reversed. Loki was not of a trusting nature. Then again, she didn’t know how accepting Asgard was about kinks. She couldn’t imagine them quite so open about things like these.

Her thoughts were interrupted when he touched her chin and tipped her head up. It was a surprisingly gentle gesture and for a moment she had to remind herself who the man in front of her was. Loki wasn’t exactly the gentle kind. She let out a breath and dragged the blade back out.

“How do you feel?”

“Hazy,” she mumbled.

She was focusing on staying in control and not accidentally killing or injuring him in a way that wasn’t this.

“Focus.”

There was one thing Natasha was absolutely certain of at all times; she was in control. Nobody died by her hands unless she wanted them to. Any injury she inflicted was planned exactly. The past few days she’d almost forgotten that. Hela’s spell had taken her off guard and had then found its root in the back of her mind, making her doubt her ability to keep from killing anyone. Now, with Loki here trusting her, she was starting to feel better. Her blood was still boiling and she still _wanted_ but she didn’t feel complete dread with the dagger in her hand.

“Why do you trust me, Loki?”

“Because you’re a killer,” he said with an amused smile.

She couldn’t help a half-hearted chuckle. Normally people _didn’t_ trust her for precisely that reason. Then again, Loki hardly counted as normal.

“People don’t usually trust killers a whole lot.”

“It’s simple logic.”

It was, too. Natasha wasn’t a killer because she enjoyed it. She didn’t kill for fun or because she wanted to. In that regard, it was easy to see why he wasn’t worried. She would kill him if he gave her reason but since he wasn’t, he had nothing to worry about indeed.

He took her hand and guided it to a spot on his side, tracing the blade until it touched the fabric of his tunic. She embedded it there and watched the moan leave his lips. His fingers moved from her chin to her hair and he twirled a strand between them.  He barely even seemed to care about the bleeding. This wound did a lot of that, staining his tunic. When she took the dagger out again, several drops of blood fell onto her floor. A couple of more cuts and stabs followed, each light enough to not wound too deeply yet still draw blood.

When she moved to stab him again, he stopped her, grabbing her wrist.

“Enough.”

She lowered her hand when he let go of it again. His breathing was heavy and he’d bled quite a lot from the various stab wounds she’d inflicted. Her heart was pounding rather loudly in her chest and she knew why he’d stopped her when she realized that.

He cleared his throat and took a step back, ceasing all contact between them.

“I will see what I can find about a spell such as this. It might be safer to remain on your own for the time being, though I would suggest contact with your friends nevertheless. It should help; force you to stay in control. You might lose that focus with no interactions whatsoever. I will return once I have found something or if you call upon me again,” Loki explained, “In the meantime… keep the dagger. It may serve as a reminder.”

She nodded mutely and he took a bow before walking out the door again. She let out a deep breath once he was gone. That had taken an interesting turn to say the least. She looked down at the dagger and the blood still dripping from it. She wondered what it was made of. Maybe next time she’d ask him. Natasha walked over to her couch and sat down, closing her eyes to replay what had happened here in the last half hour. None of that _should_ have happened.

“FRIDAY,” she said suddenly, realizing Tony would be nosy enough to sneak a peek at the security footage from her room, “Delete the last thirty minutes; everything that has Loki in it.”

“As you wish, Agent Romanoff.”

The last thing she needed was anyone seeing what had happened. Certainly not Tony who would enjoy questioning her about it a little bit too much.

Part of her had always enjoyed hurting others a little, a leftover of the Red Room that she’d never been able to shake. It was difficult to when most of her memories of hurting anyone there included praise and rewards. It stuck with her worse than Hela’s spell currently did but for the most part, she’d never minded it. She didn’t need it to live or get off, though the times she did get to make use of it was always nice.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t think Loki was attractive. He was good looking and rather her type if she was honest with herself and now that they weren’t exactly enemies anymore, she didn’t mind thinking on that. Especially not after his visit. They seemed to have at least one thing in common that couldn’t be easily provided by someone else. It made her wonder if he’d come back for more. Twirling the dagger in her hands, Natasha realized she wanted him to come back. She wanted a repeat of this. Once she was rid of the spell, she would happily go for more, too.

“Damnit.”

She went to clean the dagger and then put it away safely. A minute passed where she just stood in the middle of her room, thinking. Loki had suggested spending time with the team and she didn’t currently feel like she needed to kill anyone so it sounded like a good idea. The only one she’d spoken to since locking herself away had been Thor and then only to get in contact with his brother. She asked the resident AI where everybody was and then left her rooms to join them in the common area upstairs.

Being around everyone turned out not to be too bad. After Loki’s idea of help, she felt much more comfortable to be in the same room as her friends. The only one to make a fuss about it all was Tony while Thor asked her more about what had happened with Loki. She remained vague on that and merely told him that his sister had fucked her over. That shut the God up and though he wanted to ask what exactly she meant by that, the look she gave him let him know it was better to not ask that out loud. The mention of his sister had everybody else distracted from her and now it was Thor who was drilled by questions about his family.

 

Natasha spent the next three days with the team before the urge to kill grew overwhelming again. She retreated into her rooms once more and her gaze found the dagger on top of her drawer. Loki hadn’t been in contact so she doubted he had found anything yet. That aside, he had a kingdom to rule now and she was no priority to that. She wouldn’t call on him every time she felt like this. There had to be other ways to cope. She could go out onto a mission but she didn’t want to kill unless she had to so the risk was too great. She didn’t have a whole lot of options. She grabbed the dagger just to run her fingers over it. She remembered using it on Loki; dragging it along his tunic and cutting into his skin. He had left an impression. She bit her lip softly as she recalled the look on his face after each time she’d stabbed him. It was wonderful.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she noticed him from the corner of her eyes. She hadn’t heard him arrive at all. He chuckled softly and stepped closer, tracing the line of the blade.

“Have I surprised you?”

“You teleported here?”

“I did. I felt you might need a distraction.”

“How?”

He smirked and tapped the tip of the blade. Natasha huffed and tried her best not to roll her eyes at him.

“There is magic within this dagger. You have not touched it since… since last time.”

She watched him for a several moments. She could certainly use the out.

“Have you found anything yet?”

“There are mentions in some of the books we’ve been able to save and recover but little more.”

“What if you tackle them one by one? The spells, I mean.”

“It is one spell. If it were two, that wouldn’t be an issue. I do not believe I can just erase or counteract one part of it. I’m hoping to visit Alfheim. They are well versed in spells and its arts. It is possible they have the answer we are seeking but it’s been difficult to get in contact.”

“Alfheim?”

“One of the Nine Realms. The light elves live there. Thor and I went there as children to study. Their library rivals even that of Asgard, though we have little of that left now,” he explained with a melancholy look on his face, “Perhaps it would be beneficial to take you there.”

Hearing that surprised her and she frowned up at him. He chuckled, clearly amused.

“I think they could help more efficiently if they had you with them. _If_ they are inclined to help, that is.”

Natasha nodded absently, thinking that over. It made sense, of course, but she hadn’t ever considered travelling off world before. Up until a few years ago she hadn’t even known there was anything else out there. Now there was Asgard and countless other places. It would be interesting to get the opportunity to see some of those and if it would help her with her current spell problem, she would happily agree.

Loki took her slight distraction to take the dagger from her drawer and put it back into her hand. It shook her out of her thoughts and they shared a long look in silence. He just looked at her and she eventually nodded. Her response forced a grin on his face and she wiped it off again by stabbing him between the ribs. It was time for a repeat; and a fix for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be smut but then I changed my mind. This chapter also means it'll be more than the three chapters I first anticipated because I keep getting ideas to just make it longer and add more plot and stuff. This kinda went all over the place a little so I hope it was alright? I admittedly struggled a little with even getting this little bit of length in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I am pleased with this. The last one was so difficult to put together but this one just flowed nicely all in one go. Thanks for the comments, especially as they were the main drive behind this chapter. I'm still working out some plot details so bear with me. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it (and look, it's 50% longer than the previous chapters). Also Rocket League because we just recently got it and have become a little obsessed with playing.

Loki returned a couple of weeks later. She’d done her best to fight the urges that Hela’s curse instilled and had spent a decent amount of time with her friends. She’d still not been sent on any missions but being around everybody else was enough to keep her from being entirely bored. The boys knew to keep away if they got hurt since the first couple of times where Natasha had made a beeline out of the room upon seeing blood. She trusted herself around Loki but not them. Thor could take it if she lost control just like his brother but the others weren’t so fortunate and she was too good at killing to take that risk. Most of them could keep up, she was well aware of the fact, but that didn’t mean she wanted to start a fight in these circumstances.

She was with the team in Tony’s lounge when Loki entered. He wasn’t an unwelcome sight exactly but there was plenty of skepticism left. Clint especially still didn’t trust him a whole lot but he remained civil around him just like everybody else. Everybody but Tony who made it a habit to try and see how far he could push the God’s buttons. Luckily Loki was a rather good sport for such things and found some amusement in bickering with Stark.

“What’s up, Reindeer Games?”

Loki rolled his eyes at the greeting and looked for Natasha who was seated in the back with Clint and Thor. Tony had called for a game day so they were currently taking turns playing video games. He’d originally insisted on playing Mario Kart but Natasha had beaten them so badly that he’d pouted and called it quits in favor of something she wasn’t quite as ruthless at. He’d made the switch to Rocket League and was currently hosting a match between Steve and Bruce, commentating every single thing that happened. It made concentrating difficult but was fun to witness for those not playing.

She gave him a quick wave when he found her and he glanced back at the screen for a moment when Tony shouted about a goal. He shook his head and went to the table the three others were sitting at, nodding at Thor and Clint in greeting. Thor was always happy to see Loki here in the mansion and made it painfully obvious for anyone listening. Clint just grunted a greeting back, debating leaving the table but not really having anywhere else to go.

“What brings you here, brother?”

Loki ignored Thor’s question as he sat down in the empty chair next to Natasha. She looked a little better than the last time he’d seen her, and much better than the first time he’d come to help. She was less pale and looked less conflicted. Before, it had been a clear struggle to keep her head clear and her thoughts her own but now it seemed like little effort. She appeared a lot more like her usual self and he was glad to see it.

“I have heard back from Alfheim. The elves are willing to help,” he explained.

“Elves?” Clint finally spoke, “Like Lord of the Rings elves?”

Loki frowned, not understanding the reference but Thor looked incredibly proud of himself as he explained it to his brother. Clint had made him watch the movies after all. Once he stopped talking, Loki made a little “ah” sound and then shrugged.

“I suppose, if that’s how you want to think of them. There appear to be enough similarities.”

“But why do you require their aid?”

He gave Natasha a look and then grinned, “You still haven’t told him?”

She just shrugged and had a sip from her glass of water. Behind them, Tony loudly declared Steve the winner of the current match and called Clint over for his turn. The archer hesitated to move, clearly interested in the current conversation but he also really wanted to play and he was sure Natasha would fill him in later. He got up to join Steve on the couch while Bruce took his seat next to Tony to watch, leaving the two Asgardians alone in the back with Natasha.

“Told me what?” Thor asked, looking between the two of them.

“Why she called for me.”

Thor gave that a slow nod. It was true she hadn’t told him much about what was going on. She hadn’t told any of them much. The only thing she’d said was that Hela had somehow been involved and done something, though he hadn’t been able to see how. After all, he and Loki had banished her back to Hel. With the onslaught of questions that had arisen from Tony after the remark, Thor hadn’t even had much time to think on it. Before that, she had only made mention of something not being right and Loki being the only one able to help.

“You remember how I said Hela fucked me over?” Natasha asked and Thor nodded so she continued, “She brought me to Hel, almost three months ago, to talk. Apparently I’m her champion and she wanted to meet me. It’s almost flattering.”

Thor made it no secret that this revelation confused him. He’d never been able to hide his emotions very well. Natasha found it endearing. She wasn’t used to people who had no need to hide their true selves. It was a nice change of pace. He shook his head, trying to make sense of it.

“How is that possible?”

“The travel? I have no idea. I woke up in Hel with no recollection of how I got there. And going back was sudden too so I really couldn’t tell you.”

“And being her champion? How can that be?”

The smile she gave him was almost patronizing, though she really didn’t mean for it to come across as such. The question was just so innocent. It was rather sweet.

“Hela’s realm is filled with the souls of sinners, yes? And of all of us humans, who do you think brought her the most of those? Most of the people who get murdered or wiped out in masses by someone are innocents. Their souls don’t reach her. I’ve killed a lot of innocents too but there’s been just as many whose souls have gotten to her. I’ve done her and her realm a great service in that regard.”

Thor frowned. Her logic made sense but there was still something there that bothered him. He still only saw the best in people and Natasha had never been an exception to this. He’d known she’d taken many lives, of course, but it still shed a bit of new light on her.

“There are none who have done more for her than you? You are still so young. I find it hard to believe.”

“Oh, Thor… You’re really sweet, you know that? I’m not nearly as young as I look. I’ve had a lot of time to kill people like me, especially before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.. There may be people who’ve done the same but most of them aren’t alive anymore. They don’t matter to her; she already has them.”

He didn’t know what to say to that and looked over to his brother who gave a half-hearted shrug in return to his silent question. Loki wasn’t unaware of Natasha’s darker secrets, or her past, or even the fact that she wasn’t like most mortals. There’d been something about her that had made it plain as day to him the first time they’d met.

“She put a spell on me. Well, first she offered it but she’s about as good at taking no for an answer as Loki is. Or you, for that matter. Her spell comes with some downsides which is why I needed Loki’s help.”

It was a lot to take in but still he had questions.

“The spell, what does it do?”

“The original offer was protection for souls. I’d bring her souls and her spell would make it impossible to kill me,” she said.

Had Hela made that offer to her a couple of decades sooner, she’d have happily accepted it without hesitation. Natasha wasn’t that same person anymore though.

“Now it still does that. But I don’t go for the kill anymore unless I absolutely have to so she’s not getting the souls she wants. It seems there’s a quota to reach for the spell to remain a beneficial one. Since I’ve not been reaching it, the downsides have come up and they get worse the longer I go without abiding by her rules.”

“This is why you keep to yourself lately,” Thor guessed.

She nodded in affirmation and looked between the two brothers for a few moments. She was glad Thor didn’t ask the most obvious question right now. She wasn’t willing to explain to him that stabbing his little brother in a mutually beneficial way was what currently kept her feet on the ground.

“It’s like a curse, I guess. I don’t know how magic works but if I go by any fantasy rules, that’s what it is. I don’t kill for her for a while and I lose control of myself. I keep away from everyone so I don’t hurt anyone, or worse. It passes but the longer it goes on the worse it generally gets.”

“I’ve contacted the light elves in hopes they might be willing to lend their aid to her. Asgard has lost many of its spell books and resources and I know of no way to reverse what Hela has done to her. Alfheim is therefor the best remaining option,” Loki added, “With that said, Natasha, you may wish to pack a few things to take with you. We will need to leave as soon as you are able.”

Natasha nodded. Thor looked surprised she’d be travelling to Alfheim despite it being the most obvious course of action.

“We can go tonight, if you can wait that long.”

“Certainly.”

Another match had passed in the meantime and Thor and Natasha were called in for theirs. Tony considered Loki for several moments, staring at him intently before deciding he should join the fray. Loki didn’t get a say in the matter and the look Natasha gave him was reason enough to try it out. It looked absolutely ridiculous, in any case, but how hard could it be?

Very hard, as it turned out another five minutes later. He could not make any sense of it and was lucky that his first opponent was Thor, who understood the controls and point of the game about as well as he did. Tony’s commentary didn’t help one bit. Clint had the time of his life. It was a nice way to kill time and Loki had to admit that it wasn’t so bad to be around the Avengers now that they had a truce and got more or less along. He had no wish to harm any of them and for the most part that counted the other way around as well so most obligatory visits weren’t unpleasant. Now that he was here to help Natasha though, the mood around him was much friendlier and more open. Being invited to their ridiculous tournament proved that more than any other thing he’d been accepted into.

“I’m going off planet,” Natasha stated at the end of the evening.

“You’re what?”

She smirked at Tony’s dumbstruck expression. That didn’t happen often and she savored it each time it did. Bruce and Steve both wore frowns on their faces and Clint looked mildly displeased.

“Loki’s taking me off planet to fix the mess I’ve gotten myself into.”

“That sounds like a horrible idea,” Clint said.

“I’ll bring you back something fancy,” she promised with a grin, “It’s the only place that can help at the moment.”

It was Alfheim or going back to Hel and somehow persuading Hela to release her and the latter wasn’t likely to happen. Alfheim was her best shot at getting help.

A debate broke out around her and she shared a look with Loki while they let it play out. It took a good ten minutes before the chatter died down and she could get a word in. That being that she wouldn’t change her mind about this and that they just had to trust her and have some faith in Loki for the duration of her absence. She didn’t yet know how long she might be gone for but she wasn’t exactly worried about being alone with Loki somewhere she didn’t know and couldn’t go back home from. She didn’t trust him completely but enough for this. Loki was intrigued and they’d come to an agreement the few times he’d come around for her. She’d be fine.

“And you’re sure we can’t come with?” Steve asked, ever the team player.

She smiled and shook her head. She’d rather do this alone and they were needed here. Besides, she didn’t know how easy or difficult it was for Loki to even just travel with her with how difficult it had been for him to find a place for Asgard.

Tony looked outright torn between jealousy and relief. His last trip to outer space hadn’t gone over well but the idea of meeting a friendly alien species and whatever tech they might have was clearly getting him excited.

“It’ll be fine, boys. We’re leaving tonight. Remember I can’t come clean up after you so don’t be idiots. Especially you, Tony.”

“Aw, I love you too, Red.”

She chuckled and finished her goodbyes, hugging Clint and Steve and waving at the others. She’d packed earlier, when she’d had some time between tournament rounds and after dinner so she was all ready to go. Loki took her outside and made her stand close to him so he could teleport them both away to Asgard. The travel to Alfheim would have to wait until the morning. Teleporting two people was exhausting and Loki needed to rest. It was also a nice excuse to show her Asgard in its current glory. Now that he was king, he was rather proud of his people and his rule and bragging to Thor about it just wasn’t the same.

“We will spend the night in Asgard. There are rooms ready for you. Otherwise I could show you more of this place.”

Natasha was still busy looking around. The teleport had left her only mildly unsteady. They were in a massive spaceship, Asgard’s port, as Loki had called it before leaving. It was currently empty but the interior suggested that during the day, this was a well-travelled place. All she knew of the current Asgard was that they’d found a small moon to land on and were slowly expanding from their ship. It still held most of their belongings and homes as of right now but looking outside, she could see they’d started building on the moon’s surface. It was a surprisingly green place, unlike Earth’s moon, and gave them plenty of resources to survive on.

“Natasha.”

“Sorry. I was just admiring the view. A walk around sounds good.”

After all, she liked knowing where she was and how to get around on her own should she ever need to. It was a good habit to have to map out a place. Her training had drilled that into her brain more than most other lessons and it was something she still found use for.

“Then let us go.”

Loki led the way out of the port and onto the main part of the ship. They walked through massive hallways and past rooms that housed most Asgardians and a large hall that was clearly used for eating and other communal activities. It was late now and most were already asleep but some Asgardians were still up and about and they ran into a few of them. Loki stopped to chat with them when they seemed curious about Natasha and they spoke briefly about nothing at all. It was nice to meet Asgardians other than Thor and his friends, or brother. And for them it seemed just as nice to meet a Midgardian for a change.

Loki eventually brought them to the makeshift throne room and then showed her where her rooms were. They weren’t exclusively hers as the current situation barely had enough space for everyone on board and few of the outdoor homes were ready yet. She didn’t mind.

“These are Sif’s rooms. She’ll be here in an hour or so, I assume. She’s one of Thor’s friends and-“

“We’ve met,” Natasha interrupted.

“-Current captain of the Royal Guard,” Loki finished, “If you’ve met already, that will save me from making introductions. Good.”

She rolled her eyes and almost missed his yawn because of it.

“You should probably rest. By the sounds of it, you’ll need your strength more than me for the travels tomorrow.”

He nodded and bid her a goodnight before leaving for his own chambers, the captain’s quarter’s, down the hall. Natasha was a little tired herself though and didn’t wait up for Sif to get back. There might still be time to talk in the morning, before they had to leave for Alfheim. Not wanting to intrude too much, she settled on sleeping on the small couch rather than the sole bed. By the time Sif came in a little over an hour later, she was already asleep and Sif made no move to wake her, merely checking that Natasha was comfortable where she was before she went to sleep as well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the week off! That wasn't planned. It gave me some time to work out some things for this fic though, which is slowly coming to an end. Obviously we've passed the three chapters I had expected for this but there's still a few more to go. I'm going to go with two or three, maybe four at best. I'm basing Alfheim on what the Marvel wikia gave me.

The next morning came sooner than she’d have liked. Natasha was a morning person but she hadn’t managed to sleep overly well since this whole thing had happened. She blinked a few times and took a look around, remembering that she wasn’t at the mansion but on Asgard. The bed was empty and made so it seemed Sif was already up. That suspicion was confirmed when she heard noises from the bathroom and just a few moments later Sif stepped out of it, greeting her with a smile.

“Good morning. I apologize I wasn’t here when you arrived.”

She returned the smile with one of her own and sat up to stretch. She hadn’t minded. Sif was a busy woman.

“Thanks for sharing your room with me for the night.”

“Or let you do so with strangers who already have to share theirs? Please. You are a friend, it was the least I could do. And it is good to see you again, Natasha. Loki mentioned you’ll be leaving again in a couple of hours?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “To Alfheim. I hope you’ll be fine without your current king for a little while.”

“Naturally,” Sif grinned.

Natasha laughed to that and ran her fingers through her hair to tame the mess it was every morning.

“It’s good to see you, too, by the way. And congratulations on the promotion.”

Sif waved it off and worked on putting on her vambraces.

“There was hardly another contender for the job. Come, let’s have breakfast. We can talk more then.”

As if on cue, her stomach growled and she welcomed the idea of food. Once they were both dressed and ready for the day, they headed out. Sif led the way to the main hall where mealtimes were held. It was already brimming with people and conversations as Asgard came together to eat. There wasn’t a whole lot of food but enough to feed everyone. Sif explained that they were keeping the ship’s rations as tight as possible without making anyone starve while they worked out the harvests from the moon they were on. They weren’t entirely able to rely on just that yet but along with the housing issue this was being worked on the most. Loki had made it a priority to ensure everyone’s survival, especially while they were still gaining their footing and expanding their reach here.

They sat down where there was space and Sif heaved a sigh. Natasha had heard from Thor that his closest friends had been killed in Hela’s assault and it was obvious that Sif was missing them dearly. With him back on Earth, it couldn’t be easy for her.

“So what duties does the new title come with?” Natasha asked to distract her.

Sif turned to her after filling her plate and gestured around the hall.

“My brother saved all these people. It’s my duty now to keep them safe and train those willing to learn how to fight. We don’t need more warriors right now, I know this, but there’s little else I’m good at. Loki has been… he has been surprisingly accommodating. While we may not need fighters as much as we used to, he argued that it was still important for us to be able to defend ourselves should anything arise. There are a great many people here who help with the reconstruction of Asgard and establishing farms, yet they still wish to train in the evenings when their work is done. What Hela has done – what so many here have witnessed – it brought out a will to defend loved ones and everyone’s home. We are all that is left of Asgard. We must protect it.”

Natasha watched her and the people around them. It was difficult to believe that these few people were all that was left of an entire civilization. There were several hundred of them, some already out working, but from what little she knew of Asgard, it seemed like nothing. It was good to see they hadn’t given up hope. Perhaps it was also for the best that Thor wasn’t at the helm. He had grown so much in the last few years but this needed a different touch. One, she thought, Loki was able to provide. It certainly seemed to help with the view Asgard had of its current king.

“And Loki? Isn’t he your concern too?”

“Yes, and no. It’s… complicated. It’s in the name but he insists I focus on everything else instead. He has his personal guard, if you will, though I still think she would rather behead him herself sometimes. I worry, still. Loki used to be a friend. Now… now I am not so sure what he is.”

She understood that better than most. They’d never been friends and she doubted they ever truly would be but he’d started as an enemy and now things were much more complicated than that. What were they, really? Allies with benefits? She shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. She had more important things to consider like her impending trip to Alfheim. She knew little to nothing of the light elves living there despite Loki telling her a bit about them. He hadn’t gone into much detail so for now she had to assume she’d be fine and not accidentally offend an alien race.

“I think most people still feel that way about him,” she said with a little grin.

Sif laughed and looked up when a tankard half smashed onto their table. A moment later, Valkyrie sat down opposite them, taking in the newcomer with a curious look on her face.

“It’s too early to drink.”

“It is never too early to drink,” Valkyrie protested, then nodded at Natasha, “You’re the mortal Loki’s talked about, yeah? You’re not what I expected.”

“If you’re the bodyguard that Sif just mentioned, then neither are you.”

Valkyrie grinned at that and finished what little was left in her cup.

“I like you. I hear you’re going to Alfheim with him. Normally it’d be my job to go too but he doesn’t seem to think it’s necessary.”

“The light elves are peaceful people,” Sif interrupted, “He won’t come to harm there.”

She shrugged and watched Natasha. They were almost the same height so she knew better than to underestimate anyone based on that. She’d heard about most of the Avengers from Thor as well as Sif and even Loki, though his views were rather negatively biased. Still, it was obvious enough Natasha could handle herself.

Natasha returned the inspection out of habit. Loki had barely mentioned her but Thor had spoken highly of her, right down to her impressive ability to down alcohol like it was air.

“Guess you’re getting some time off then.”

“There’s never any time off around here.”

She huffed and nodded a couple of times. That was fair. After all, Asgard was still growing. They needed every hand on board.

They finished eating so Natasha could get ready to leave. Loki was already waiting for her where they’d arrived the previous night. She found her way there easily enough despite the confusing layout of the ship.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded her affirmation and stood close to him like before. He held her securely and then teleported them away. It took a little longer if her perception of time passing was accurate but still happened quickly enough. Loki looked exhausted though.

She took the time he needed to look around, much like she had done upon arriving on Asgard. It was incredibly green here. As far as she could tell they were in a forest just outside of town but the view was impressive already. Not just the greenery, but also everything else. She spotted some wildlife a little ways off and did a double take.

“Is that a unicorn?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. Come, this way. We’ll be going to the capital. We are expected there.”

She stared at the creature a little longer. Unicorns were nothing but fairytales and mystical creatures on Earth and yet they appeared perfectly normal here. Clint was going to have a stroke.

“What else do I need to know?” she asked as they started walking out of the forest and towards the city she’d been able to make out before.

“Many of the things you consider fantastic are true here. There are a great many different elves, as well as pixies and mermaids. You’ll see for yourself. If you enjoy the greenery, you might like their gardens. They are a sight to behold.”

She let that sink in and continued walking. Once inside town, seeing so many elves and other creatures roaming about was quite something. They, in turn, seemed quite intrigued by her appearance. They went all the way to the castle where they were indeed already expected. The elf took a polite bow in front of Loki and inclined his head towards Natasha.

“Welcome to Alfheim. You are expected within. I will lead the way.”

He turned around and walked away, Natasha and Loki following closely behind. After several minutes of walking they came to a stop inside a massive library. It was stock full of books, the room packed to the ceiling with them.

“Please, wait here just a moment.”

They nodded and checked out the books without touching anything. It only took a minute before somebody arrived to greet them.

“I am Aleyah. I have been informed of your misfortune, young one. Come. We will see what I can do for you.”

She walked to a desk a few feet away from them and made them sit down around it. She came to stand by Natasha’s side. After a few gestures and mumblings she couldn’t understand, Aleyah stepped back with a curious frown on her face.

“You did not mention that Hela is the cause of this.”

“You know?”

“Indeed. Hers is a very unique energy; powerful and suppressing. I may be able to help but it will require some time. Her spells are not easily undone.”

She knew as much from the fact that Loki hadn’t been able to do it yet. Despite all his ego and bragging when it came to magic, he was as talented as he claimed.

“Be patient, child. Tell me more of what this spell does.”

Natasha explained what had happened and what Hela had done. She couldn’t recall any of the words Hela had spoken, unable to even form the sounds she’d heard with her own tongue. She continued by telling her about the effects it supposedly had and how the negatives of her curse had impacted her body and mind the longer she’d gone without doing what Hela wanted her to. Aleyah listened closely to every word as to not miss any crucial information.

“Are you feeling any of those effects right now?”

“No. If I do, Loki is able to help with them. You don’t need to worry about anyone’s safety.”

Aleyah nodded and looked at Loki for a few moments.

“If he could not, I could find a way to dim them. Perhaps a potion would help. If you feel no need for it, I will focus instead of ridding you of this spell.”

Natasha agreed to that. She didn’t want her to waste time with finding a way to suppress her bloodlust. Not when she could be spending that time finding a complete fix for the entire spell. That was much more important to Natasha at the moment. Should her bloodlust rise again, she’d have Loki help her. It wasn’t permanent but it would continue doing the trick until Aleyah could fix this.

“I will require some reading. We have prepared chambers for both of you. Please make use of them in the meantime. If you wish to see the city, we will have someone available to show you around. It can get quite confusing for outsiders and that way you will be informed right away should I have need of you.”

“Thank you.

Aleyah inclined her head to them both and went to search the library for any books that would be of use to her. It would take time indeed to find something and prepare Natasha for the removal so there was some time for them to at least enjoy the sights.

Natasha and Loki made good on that offer, checking out their chambers before going for a guided tour of the capital. It was a gorgeous city and Natasha was fascinated by its population. They were stopped a few times for chats with the locals who were mostly interested by her red hair and small stature. Loki wisely made no comment. He was equally questioned. Alfheim hadn’t had visitors from Asgard in a long time and never before from someone from Earth. It was a curious day for all parties.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how long this is going to end up being but I assume at least three chapters. I just wanted to put this out and thought it'd be an okay place to stop. We all know I can't write long chapters for squat so I hope it's interesting enough.


End file.
